I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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