just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
