I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
