I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
