We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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