My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
