They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
