Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
