Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I have tasted many bathrooms
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
