I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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