Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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