we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
