dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
