listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
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Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
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but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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