the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize