I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
