Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
