Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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