i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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