I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
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I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
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He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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