just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
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Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
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Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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