i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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