Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
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He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
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I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
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