therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
