Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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