I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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