My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
