i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
