It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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