she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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