She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
