Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.

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  (203): You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi. http://tfl.nu/yrsa
  Replies (15) Good night (3283) Bad night (726)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Why did you take off so early

  (224): View more from Illinois

  No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.

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  (847): Why did you take off so early (224): No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know. http://tfl.nu/xucj
  Replies (7) Good night (4661) Bad night (572)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits

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  (954): I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits http://tfl.nu/hlpn
  Replies (11) Good night (1119) Bad night (3336)
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  (209): View more from California

  You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.

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  (209): You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed. http://tfl.nu/9lg8
  Replies (23) Good night (2228) Bad night (6921)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out

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  (410): I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out http://tfl.nu/hdo3
  Replies (12) Good night (1301) Bad night (3619)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad

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  (314): Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad http://tfl.nu/ilsx
  Replies (19) Good night (1282) Bad night (2896)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.

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  (803): For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early. http://tfl.nu/j6ta
  Replies (3) Good night (1429) Bad night (1911)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.

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  (443): the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this. http://tfl.nu/g4cn
  Replies (8) Good night (4965) Bad night (2135)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.

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  (+44): We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this. http://tfl.nu/pfxy
  Replies (6) Good night (4561) Bad night (1247)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.

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  (702): I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat. http://tfl.nu/7ors
  Replies (13) Good night (4346) Bad night (1274)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.

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  (781): Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days. http://tfl.nu/ccfk
  Replies (10) Good night (1965) Bad night (1134)
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  (845): View more from New York

  officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.

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  (845): officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand. http://tfl.nu/8nd1
  Replies (7) Good night (1591) Bad night (982)
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  (510): View more from California

  Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.

  (1-510): View more from California

  That is one convoluted booty call.

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  (510): Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week. (1-510): That is one convoluted booty call. http://tfl.nu/bxw4
  Replies (2) Good night (799) Bad night (997)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.

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  (303): You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories. http://tfl.nu/6f6h
  Replies (15) Good night (1854) Bad night (1038)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.

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  (305): As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive. http://tfl.nu/jsq2
  Replies (6) Good night (1076) Bad night (436)

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