We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
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Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
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I will pee on everything he values.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?