were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.