3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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