Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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