how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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