apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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