There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
