my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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