Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
