Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
The power of my boobs compel you
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize