I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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