She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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