Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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