i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
