you have to choose: penises or morals?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
