Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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