So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
