I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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