she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
