why didn't you poke me back
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
