Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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