i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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