Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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