I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
