sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
