Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize