Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
