So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
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So gin and wine won't be happening again
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
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I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.