I swear god or herbie drove my car home
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.