paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling